Building Maintenance Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's certainly high time you got around to fixing that lock, Straus!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

Building Blocks.

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Building a company.

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Engineer on the move.

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

'Guess they're still fixing the street.'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"The blow drier is broken."

"I'd like one of your bucket and spade holidays."

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1