Maintenance Aficionado T-Shirts

When did you last have your oil changed?

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Crane fishing

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"Nap time."

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

A 1950's Barber Shop

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

"Your engine is experiencing a lot of internal combustion right now. Here's the name of a good psychotherapist."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

DIY store.

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

'D.I.Y. SAS.'

Four mechanics working on a car

"Thanks for waiting."

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

'Lose another wrench to that black hole that sucks up all tools the instant you drop it?'