Maintenance Aficionado Gifts

When did you last have your oil changed?

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Crane fishing

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"Nap time."

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

DIY store.

'Lose another wrench to that black hole that sucks up all tools the instant you drop it?'

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

"Thanks for waiting."

Four mechanics working on a car

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

Warren was aware of his Carpenter Ant problem, but the sight of the Plumber Bee had him really concerned.