Repair Aficionado Gifts

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

Acme Rubber Band Co.

"It's fixed, mate."

'D.I.Y. SAS.'

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Nap time."

When did you last have your oil changed?

"He's a hunter-gatherer-tinkerer-fixer-upper-restorer-reseller."

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Just buy a new one. It's over 40 years old. That must be about 160 in toilet years."

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Your engine is experiencing a lot of internal combustion right now. Here's the name of a good psychotherapist."

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

DIY store.

"Yes, I know how to fix it! I watched a 12 year-old do it on a YouTube video."

Four mechanics working on a car

'Lose another wrench to that black hole that sucks up all tools the instant you drop it?'

"I'm done fixing your wheel, but these were left over when I got it put back together."

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

Warren was aware of his Carpenter Ant problem, but the sight of the Plumber Bee had him really concerned.

F & E Plumbing. Yes, I know you're always at my disposal. If you were better plumbers, you wouldn't have to be!