Home Maintenance Buff T-Shirts

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Yardless: Please help

Man using to much bug spray

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"The trees are laughing at us."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Moses unblocking the toilet.

The household cavalry

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Timber preservation

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."