House Maintenance Guru T-Shirts

Dunmowin

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Yardless: Please help

Man using to much bug spray

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"The trees are laughing at us."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

The household cavalry

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Timber preservation

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

House for sale - some assembly required.

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."