Budget Stretcher Gifts

"You fool! Don't you know it's the day after tax day?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Everything's gone up."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

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"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Oil shock.

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

'I need affordable daycare now!'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Put it in petty cash.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'