Budget Bluffer Gifts

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"What comes after zillion?"

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

Occupy Budget Balancing

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

Oil shock.

Your tax $ at WAR.

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

Snowman Driver

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Overdraft limit.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."