Biblical Bluffer Gifts

"Genesis" "*The King Gus Version"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

Caption Contest TK

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Snake in the grass...

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'Even More Disciples'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.