Budget Cruncher Gifts

Local Council meeting to close libraries: 'Sssshhhh!'

'Miss Hopkins, write two letters to accounting about our duplicate billing problem.'

"This mental health budget is insane!"

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"I think I see the problem..."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Everything's gone up."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

Snowflake Investments...penny stocks, junk bonds: 'Here today, gone tomorrow!'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

City Centre Development - "...We've spent all the money on the model."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.