Budget Cruncher Pillows

Local Council meeting to close libraries: 'Sssshhhh!'

'Miss Hopkins, write two letters to accounting about our duplicate billing problem.'

"This mental health budget is insane!"

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"I think I see the problem..."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"Everything's gone up."

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

Snowflake Investments...penny stocks, junk bonds: 'Here today, gone tomorrow!'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

City Centre Development - "...We've spent all the money on the model."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'I need affordable daycare now!'

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

Oil shock.