Budget Stretcher Mugs

"You fool! Don't you know it's the day after tax day?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"Everything's gone up."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

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'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

'I need affordable daycare now!'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

Oil shock.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'