Budget Banterer Gifts

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

Homeless count.

Budget Cuts

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

"Raising the debt ceiling is a ponzi scheme!"

"If we were a business - rather than a government - we'd be bankrupt!"

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

How to do without

BELTS, loose & tight...weight loss clinic and financial advisors.

Little Taxes.