Budget Queen Gifts

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the US budget deficit.

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

U.S. Department of Deficit Spending

Affordable housing

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

Low income vampires.

Sam's Nation Building

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

'The lower-priced items contain genetically-modified foods not yet approved for human use.'

'I like my wine the way I like my prescriptions - generic.'

"It's exactly how Jamie Oliver would make it if he couldn't afford half the ingredients either!"

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

'Sorry about dinner, honey...ever since your dad was laid off work we've been trying to figure out new ways to make dinner.'

Budget Stoplights.

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."