Budget King Gifts

Clenched Purse

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Smart card.

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

Economy.

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

Small Businesses Go Under.

"Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!"

'Surely you can manage on your salary!'

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

Economist!

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'Wait a minute....!

Budget Munchies

"What I want from you, is a big budget event with a low budget, budget."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."