Budget Bloke Gifts

Electricity Bills

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"I just..."

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

"Everything's gone up."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!"

'I need affordable daycare now!'

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

'Wait a minute....!

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'If the best things in life are free, we have too many of the worst things.'

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'