Budget Wonk Gifts

The Inaugural Ball

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"What comes after zillion?"

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Wow, my own desk!'

Small Businesses Go Under.

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Overdraft limit.

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'