Budget Wonk Pillows

The Inaugural Ball

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"What comes after zillion?"

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

Overdraft limit.

Small Businesses Go Under.

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

'Wow, my own desk!'

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."