Budget Guru Pillows

'You've had a cell phone all these years and you haven't used it because of ROAMING CHARGES?'

'Forget retirement, will I have enough to keep gas in my car?'

The Elephant in the Corner.

'My expense account isn't what it used to be. So for lunch I'm taking you fishing, and we'll eat what we catch.'

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

"Funny - I still feel like we're broke!"

'Here we are, almost out of debt, and they have to buy a new car.'

'With this velcro seat, I save a bundle on seatbelts.'

I remember not to spend too much by replacing every s in my shopping list with a dollar sign.

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'It's based on a get real life story.'

'Because of the economy, we'll be serving photos of your favorite drink tonight!'

'Listen to me, all of you. There's a big economic crunch out there so we're all going to have to tighten our belts and eat less.'

Gas Price

Gas prices up.

"We wouldn't be in trouble if we had learned that wacky kind of Wall Street bookkeeping!"

"Some people are getting really upset with high food prices."

Company in Trouble.

'The math doesn't add up because they're all negative numbers.'

Don't take my money.

"No, he's not 'chilling out'. His idea of chilling is to leave the heat off until December."

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

Budget Munchies

"I think my experience in management is just what is required to be a success in politics..."

"Never mind our get-rich scheme. We need a keep-our-heads-above-the-water scheme."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

Why buy one in December when you can have them all for free in January?

Small Businesses Go Under.

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"This job's really helping me buy my car...even if it's one piece at a time."

"I know that there has been a lot of concern expressed about a 'skills shortage'....mainly amongst government ministers."

'Dad, which comes first, wage increases or inflation?'

'Our bank statement is the naked horror! What we need is a credit card that will bite us snd run away if we're going to overdraw the account!'

'Thanks for the estimate. Now here's mine.'

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'