Budget Cynic Pillows

Why should I let you leave work, Rudy. Because my shift's over. I've calculated it. Turns out you spend 12.2% of your day mopping. That means in just one month, I pay you more to mop than the price of one Roomba. The Roomba robot would work 24 hours a day if I told it to. Would like a 12.2% pay cut, of shall I rename thee. "Roomba Park"? Goodnight, Scrooge.

Government a la Carte

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

Budget Cuts

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Little Taxes.

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

"Well, if there is life on Mars, how come they haven't asked us for money?"

The Fed: Problems and the solution.

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

I used to live payday to payday, now I live payday to three days till payday.

Today's Topic: "Money talks." In my case, very sarcastically.

Cost of the military.

IRS, 'Remember back when 'debt to society' referred to criminals?'

"Oh you know, insider trading and fudging the number before lunch and then some fraud in the afternoon. How was your day?"

'Good job on screwing up the economy. Now make global warming worse.'

The New Abnormal

"I understand Senator Quigley was really counting on that raise."

"I know it's not an antique but it will be when I've finished paying for it."

'He's an inspiration to us all -- he evaded the draft, taxes, AND questions.'

'No need to worry about this recession. When this one is over there'll be another lined up.'

"I don't know what's wrong lately. Railing at the fed doesn't make him happy any more."

"I'd like to get a second opinion on your bill."

Be flamboyant-today living within your means is mucking-up the economy.

"We've been told that we can't leave patients on trolleys in the corridors, so we are moving them into the car park."

'I know he didn't pay his bills, but let's get the lien off the coffin.'

'It looks like another victim of the economy!'

"Nah, I'm not coming for you yet. You still owe on that stupid time share."

"Relax—we'd know."