Budget Philosopher Pillows

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"Well, if there is life on Mars, how come they haven't asked us for money?"

I used to live payday to payday, now I live payday to three days till payday.

"I know it's not an antique but it will be when I've finished paying for it."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"The problem with capitalism is the unequal sharing of wealth. The problem with socialism is the equal sharing of wealth..."

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'It's your debt to society.'

Euro crisis bailout.

"On our budget, I'm glad the Keebler Elves were available."

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

"See here how his later work shows focus and sense of direction..."

"Uh, well, I can't pay today, but my Surety, Joe Q. Public's Great-Great-Great Grandson will stand good for me..."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

'We've got all the figures, we just haven't decided what order to put them in!'

"We're going to spend £5M to put over the message that our product is so good it sells itself!"

'Budget cuts have forced NASA to find alternative training methods.'

Free long distance

"But there has to be something wrong with me, Doctor. Money makes me extremely happy."

"Look, I promise I’m not going to be mad. Just tell me the truth: Did you blow Grandma’s retirement savings at the track?"

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

"It was the cheapest way for us to cover the potholes."