Budget Irony Appreciator Pillows

"I understand Senator Quigley was really counting on that raise."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Big business is not evil

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Budget Cuts

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

'Sorry, I don't do financial advice.'

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the consultants."

'Rumors...'

Cost of the military.

"We've cut away all the fat now we have to look at staffing costs!"

'Would it be possible to fire last year's 40,000 employees a second time?'

'A credit card company has told us not to bother to apply. We're pre-disapproved.'

"Alas, poor Yorick!"

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

Antiques, Furniture Stripping, Stripping.

'This is pretty good to prevent your money from slipping through your fingers!'

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

I think I've solved our downsizing problem!

"And Boris caims all his spending plans will be financed by winnings on investing £1000 a week in Eurolottery tickets..."

Look thru the hole to see budget savings: 'I don't see anything in there...'

'There's no money to provide 'Care in the Community'...but we have just enough to move him into the carpark!'

"Normally, having a song stuck in your head isn't considered a disability."

Golf courses on the rough side of town.

"I'm sorry, but out rapid response team is backlogged for months."

"Hey, I'm sorry...cutbacks, y'know!"

First national bank all our deposits federally insured ($500 deductable).

'I wish you had the fortitude that the government has. Being in debt doesn't stop THEM from spending!'

'Due to cuts, the school will only be open 6 to 10 on Sunday night.'

"I know you and Magdalena don't get along too well...but it's great when she visits. She's so giving!"

'Not only do you not have to spend a lot of money to have a good time, you also don't have to have a good time to spend a lot of money.'

Misfortune Cookie