Government Budget Humorist Pillows

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

Fiscal cliff

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Budget Cuts

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

"There have been a few cutbacks in the anesthesiology department."

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"It's easy being a congressman once you let go of your grip of reality."

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'Ooops, wrong door!'

'The anger management class ruined our budget when they ordered love seats.'

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

'Why retire? Working a nonfunctioning - government is just like being retired.'

"Pearson is known for his austere monetary views."

"Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax. Not having to pay it."

'You've got to do something about your chocolate addition.'

Federal Bureau of Management and Budget - Visit our new website easy.comeasy.gov

"That's untrue that I suffered moral decay! I started out corrupt!"

"Fortunately, we have an excellent pay-as-you-go plan of just 2,359 easy payments."

'It's 10pm, do you know where your tax loopholes are?'

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

'Price is no issue, Ms. Carter. Hire a consultant who can tell us why the government is in debt and dysfunctional.'

"Don't go all govt. on me."

First and last day as Speaker.

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

'Wait, I have a coupon for $500,000 off that hammer.'