Budget Nerd Pillows

Synchronized worry

'Seems the only thing that works over thirty years is to starve you to death now.'

Government tsk force

Budget Stoplights.

Old Faithful.

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

"I just..."

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

DIY marriage counseling.

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

The spend is high

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

Small Businesses Go Under.

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Your tax $ at WAR.

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

'In a cost-saving move, I've replaced your cubicle with a back pack.'

Budget Munchies

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

US Deficit

"The government's finance settlement is coming out really late this year!"