Budget Buyer Gifts

Very steep climb: 'I thought this house sounded cheap.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

DIY marriage counseling.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

The spend is high

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

Garage Music

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"Keep in mind it's only a concept at this point."

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"No wonder it was so affordable."

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

Salesman given 10 minutes under extreme pressure to sell to buyer

"Of course you don't need to tell me about your procurement plans for the year ahead. That would spoil the surprise and give us time to deliver value for money and who needs that?!"

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

Think Small.

Low income vampires.

Garage sale.

Tony Blair - EU budget.