Brochure Connoisseur Gifts

"We specialize in corporate slogans, business brochures and annual reports to shareholders..."

Men's business romper.

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

25¢ Ride the Pony

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

Creative department ?

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

'I have too much power... but I'm not complaining.'

'Profit or non-profit?'

"As you can see, the company's performance has been strong."

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

Here's the college for me! It's totally green. Let's see. I though you wanted warm weather. Look at the brochure. There's no snow in any of the pictures. The school is in Minnesota. Wow! Early signs of global warming. Who knew it hit college brochures first?

Warren Buffett

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

Chimp with mail-order anthill.

I'm forgetting which college is which. Their brochures are all alike. University of. It's always fall or spring. Apply! There's always a multi-cultural group of kids hanging out. There's always a girl in goggles working in a science lab with an ethnic-looking prof. It's reassuring. They all celebrate their diversity in the exact same way! And charge the exact same for it!

"Thanks for spending me hours showing me all the brochures...now I think I'll go and buy my tour on the internet."

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

"It's not just a special advertising section,- it's a very special advertising section."

"Oh, he talks the talk, but he just doesn't walk the walk."

Go there Travel Agency.

'I can't identify with any brand emotionally!'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

"Look, it's the managerial merry-go-round!"

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

"Gucci, Gucci, Gucci."

'Then go ahead with the merger/Pineapple will be fine/Make them the offer we discussed/All right dear, then vegetable soup/How many shares are outstanding?/Of course they'll like the vegetable soup...'

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."