Brisk Ceremony Gifts

Jewish auto correct fails

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'He does.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Folk Wedding

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

Zumma Cum Laude

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

Zoom Wedding

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Online marriage ceremony.

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

'Will you hold it down? This is IMPORTANT!'

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

Double Wedding