Brisk Ceremony Gifts

Jewish auto correct fails

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Okay.. what the hell.'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'He does.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

Graduates on their phones

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

Folk Wedding

Zumma Cum Laude

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

Zoom Wedding

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

GLAD-YOU-ATION

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

Online marriage ceremony.

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

Double Wedding

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'