Breathwork Beginner Gifts

"Ease up on the exhale."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Yoga for beginners,

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!

The Good Breathing Guide

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"Since you're a computer geek, I suggest lifting the box the weights came in."

"It turns out I've been inhaling when I should be exhaling and exhaling when I should be inhaling."

'I'd join Twitter, but I'm worried I'll make a hash of it.'

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

Grooming for beginners.

"You're right. Yoga sure sounds easy!"

"Too much aftershave, visit to a bee farm. Bad combination."

'Wow, breathing! What a concept.'

Brush your teeth!

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

'Tom just had his first workout at the gym.'

'Don't talk to the plants after you've eaten garlic.'

'Your first lesson is free.'

"Did you forget to gargle dear? Your breath is atocious."

Before picking up a date, Doug always tested his breath on a canary that he kept in the car.

"Downward Drool" is ok, but if you want something challenging, try "forward-facing full diaper."

'Be honest, how bad is it?'

The real reason we have natural disasters...

'where do you plug it in?'

"First yoga class?"

'So far, I've cleared my mind of everything except Angelina Jolie.'

"Now, Baldo, don't let your temper get the best of you. Do what I do. Sit in a comfortable chair and count to 100."

Reading for Beginners

Yoga studio: In 234 and Out 234.

Good and bad air