Breath Master Gifts

The real reason we have natural disasters...

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

'Want to make it two out of three?'

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

Man and brain

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

All we have in life is this moment...

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

OM, SWEET OM

'Are you sure about that? -- It sounds more like Ayn Rand than Buddha.'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

"Ever since I started Yoga, I don't freeze up as much."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

'Birthdays are like life...the more you have, the more illuminated you become.'

Yogi back in 5.