Speech Maestro Gifts

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

'Make it sizzle? Make it pop? Am I writing a speech or frying bacon?'

Pointing Man.

"Whoa, too much information!"

"OMG! I'm lost for words!"

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

Time for speeches

The Four Tops in Concert

Giuseppe Verdi

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

Hip-hop cops on stage.

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

'Hey! Did you suddenly forget English? Get in here!'

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

The Poet.

Nice speech, but you don't have that many friends. You better add "Romans and countrymen."