Breathing Master Gifts

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Surfing the daily stress

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Fight or Flight

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Meditation

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

"Showoff"

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Behind the Scenes of Your Wednesday Night Yoga Class

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

How the goat got square eyes.

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'