Breakup Strategist Gifts

'It's not you, it's me.'

How to end a relationship.

"I think it's time I left Mr. Right!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"It's not you-it's me."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

"I told him that I was leaving, that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork...he asked me to fill out an exit report!"

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

'She originally told you she wanted love and understanding? Well, her list has grown.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

"Recently separated."

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

"I gotta go. I see an opening in the maelstrom."

When Dick quit, he walked off with the company Slushy fund!'

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death, should be around here at quitting time.'

"The bathroom window is wide open. I don't think she's coming back."