Breakup Analyst Gifts

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

Just because Laurel's a slob doesn't mean you should leave her. It's a ridiculous reason. Frankly, you're way overthinking this. Really? Sure, you don't need a reason to leave her. Do it on principle or because relationships give you hives. Support of friends is so key.

People who ghosted me

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

"I just don't think our relationship will work out, honey."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

The prying mantis,

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"I can't believe he brought her."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

Blues artis's daily list

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."