Breakroom Banterer Gifts

'I, along with some of the other employees, feel you're abusing the breakroom.'

"If I switched to decaf, I'd lose my edge around the water cooler."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"This stool shall pass."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"I go that extra mile!"

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"This is where the money will be spent. Oh, sorry. That's a picture of a black hole."

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"I thought it was about time we had a clear the air meeting."

"Why is everyone's valuable input so stupid?"

"Sipsies?"

A breakthrough moment for the Wright brothers. How about some wings with that?

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

'I fix problems you didn't know you had in ways you wouldn't understand.'

'This is the point where we sold our collective souls.'

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

'What if, and I know this sounds kooky, we communicated with the employees.'

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

"Now that we can talk, we have to have meetings."

"What do you mean you can't remember where you buried the company's assets?"