Break Room Banterer Gifts

"This job is way too hard! Crazy customer...rude suppliers...kids who mess up displays...and all we get is $5.15 an hour! It's nothing but sheer exploitation of hard-working American teenagers!"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'These are job perks.'

"This stool shall pass."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"I go that extra mile!"

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

"No. You turn over."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"This is where the money will be spent. Oh, sorry. That's a picture of a black hole."

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"I thought it was about time we had a clear the air meeting."

"Why is everyone's valuable input so stupid?"

A breakthrough moment for the Wright brothers. How about some wings with that?

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Sipsies?"

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'I fix problems you didn't know you had in ways you wouldn't understand.'

'This is the point where we sold our collective souls.'