Break Room Banterer Gifts

"This job is way too hard! Crazy customer...rude suppliers...kids who mess up displays...and all we get is $5.15 an hour! It's nothing but sheer exploitation of hard-working American teenagers!"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'These are job perks.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"I go that extra mile!"

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

"No. You turn over."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

"This is where the money will be spent. Oh, sorry. That's a picture of a black hole."

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Why is everyone's valuable input so stupid?"

"I thought it was about time we had a clear the air meeting."

"Sipsies?"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'I fix problems you didn't know you had in ways you wouldn't understand.'

'This is the point where we sold our collective souls.'

"It's the break room, Ed. There are people in there, too. I know it's hard, after all that time working from home, but you're going to have to start getting used to them again."