Break Room Banter Gifts

'I think it's time we got rid of the espresso maker.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

'These are job perks.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"I go that extra mile!"

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

'I'm looking for people who find me intimidating.'

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

"It's the break room, Ed. There are people in there, too. I know it's hard, after all that time working from home, but you're going to have to start getting used to them again."

'Advertising: Don't get me started! I mean what's Phil Collins in a Gorilla suit, got to do with chocolate?'

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

I'm not retired yet...I'm just practicing.

Barrier around water cooler

Drinks: Tea, Coffee, Choco, Scalded Leg, Wet Shoe, Half a Cup, No Cup.

"Johnson, what are you doing? It's not time for your break yet."

'I pretend to work.They pretend to pay me!'

"I can never find any change here."

"It was a day like any other, so I guess I'll have the usual."

'I've worked out your pro rated holiday leave on the basis that you only put in a couple of hours real work a day.'

"Joey, are you on break again?"

'Bad news and good news, Tomano... they're abolishing my job and I'm taking yours.'

"We're actually gossiping at a water cooler instead of on social media. Does this make us hipsters?"

'I, along with some of the other employees, feel you're abusing the breakroom.'