Coffee Break Chatter Gifts

'All I hope for is that the weekdays don't ruin my weekend.'

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

'I'm looking for people who find me intimidating.'

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

With one badly timed dunk teabreak was ruined.

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

'You're lucky, Ted. You're the only one around here who doesn't get treated like a number.'

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

Voting on their Seats

"Decaf, Sid?"