Coffee Break Commentator Gifts

Men are like March, they come in like a lion and leave like a lamb.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

'I'm looking for people who find me intimidating.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

With one badly timed dunk teabreak was ruined.

'This decaf's lousy.'

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

'You're lucky, Ted. You're the only one around here who doesn't get treated like a number.'

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

New York Man

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

'Ever thought of early retirement?'

'I'll just grab a coffee...'