Coffee Break Analyst Gifts

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'I'm looking for people who find me intimidating.'

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

With one badly timed dunk teabreak was ruined.

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

'You're lucky, Ted. You're the only one around here who doesn't get treated like a number.'

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

New York Man

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

Bill couldn't explain it but every day around 3 o'clock he would hit the wall.

'Ever thought of early retirement?'

"Decaf, Sid?"

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.