Breakroom Banterer Pillows

'I, along with some of the other employees, feel you're abusing the breakroom.'

"If I switched to decaf, I'd lose my edge around the water cooler."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"I go that extra mile!"

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

"This is where the money will be spent. Oh, sorry. That's a picture of a black hole."

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"I thought it was about time we had a clear the air meeting."

"Why is everyone's valuable input so stupid?"

"Sipsies?"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

'I fix problems you didn't know you had in ways you wouldn't understand.'

'This is the point where we sold our collective souls.'

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

'What if, and I know this sounds kooky, we communicated with the employees.'

"Now that we can talk, we have to have meetings."

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

'When I said that we might liven up the meetings by moving to a new location I was thinking of the room next to the canteen.'

"What do you mean you can't remember where you buried the company's assets?"

'Stop me when I start extolling the virtues of socialism.'