Bureaucratic Banterer Pillows

'My insurance company says I have to get three estimates.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

God's Office.

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

Bureaucratic castle

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

Insufficient Postage

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

'I'm sorry, sir, this is the department of Immediate Dissatisfaction. Your appointment is with the Bureau of Eternal Frustration.'

A dart board for the Federal Reserve's planning policy?

"Now that we can talk, we have to have meetings."

"I'm your exit strategy."

"We have all kinds of Regulatory Guidelines floating around."

'We've been looking into absences at our meetings and it turns out that Nigel died in 2006 and Trevor never actually worked here!'

EXPLAIN WHY YOU HAVE NOT REGISTERED WITH THE LOCAL POETRY OFFICE.

"The war's been cancelled. It would raise insurance rates."

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

Man entering spaceship is asked for his passport

Heaven Security Checks.

"What a coincidence! I'm forwarding your request at this very moment!"