Bureaucracy Banterer Pillows

"Now that we can talk, we have to have meetings."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Quality Control

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

The Buck Never Stops.

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

Doctor surrounded by notes.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

Wolf Reintroduction.

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

God's Office.

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

Excessive Paperwork

Bureau of Red Tape

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants. (Originally published on 2007-10-18).

"Someday my grant will come."

'All these stupid forms! -- You self-employed guys make me sick!'