Bread Gifts

'Help! I'm a coeliac get me out of here!'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

'My bread is broke. Can I get a refund?'

ATM toaster

"Who invented Cinnamon-Raisin again?"

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"Don't say anything, but these aren't really artisanal bread crumbs."

"Being an everything bagel, doesn’t mean you are expected to do everything."

'Ethel is the breadwinner in our family.'

'I've got the biggest, softest baps on the high street and I only charge 10p a roll.'

Gluten Cafe - For the rest of us.

"Give us this day our daily gluten-free sliced white ciabatta."

"Do you have any marriage bread?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

Doughboy Dad

'The body is made up of millions and millions of crumbs.'

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

"My mother taught me about baking. She was a great roll model!"

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"Marriage is a compromise. I'm sweet rye and your father is sourdough, but we make it work."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

I bake my own bread.

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"How are we on bread?"

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

Early Morning Roll Call.

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'