Bread Artisan Gifts

Baker

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

Doughboy Dad

"It's called geometry, Mum."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

A couple watch apprehensively as six witches fly around their gingerbread birdhouse

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"How are we on bread?"

"Marriage is a compromise. I'm sweet rye and your father is sourdough, but we make it work."

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

French bread

Come dine with me!

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

Toast kidnapper.

"I've invented sliced bread, the invention that will set th standard for all future inventions."

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

"Your kneads? What about my kneads?"

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

Baker

'At last conclusive proof sods law works - but only with a thick-sliced family loaf.'