Artisan Bread Gifts

Bread Stall

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

A couple watch apprehensively as six witches fly around their gingerbread birdhouse

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"How are we on bread?"

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Baker

"Do you have any marriage bread?"

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

"Your kneads? What about my kneads?"

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

I bake my own bread

Baker

"Being an everything bagel, doesn’t mean you are expected to do everything."

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"Thanks for the starter!"

Cheesemaker

Crusty Bread

Cheese Hole

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

"Who invented Cinnamon-Raisin again?"

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

Baking Bread

Out of work baker - I knead your dough

"The King bought me a breadmaker."

What's Really In A Penguin?

"The chocolate fudge and whipped cream is okay. But you should have sought planning permission for the giant cherry on the roof!"

'Help! I'm a coeliac get me out of here!'