Artisan Bread Gifts

Bread Stall

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

A couple watch apprehensively as six witches fly around their gingerbread birdhouse

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"How are we on bread?"

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

Baker

"Do you have any marriage bread?"

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

"Your kneads? What about my kneads?"

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

Baker

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

I bake my own bread

"Being an everything bagel, doesn’t mean you are expected to do everything."

"Thanks for the starter!"

Cheesemaker

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

"Who invented Cinnamon-Raisin again?"

Crusty Bread

Cheese Hole

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

"The chocolate fudge and whipped cream is okay. But you should have sought planning permission for the giant cherry on the roof!"

"The King bought me a breadmaker."

Out of work baker - I knead your dough

What's Really In A Penguin?

Baking Bread