Bread Buffs Gifts

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

Doughboy Dad

Baking

'The body is made up of millions and millions of crumbs.'

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

"My mother taught me about baking. She was a great roll model!"

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

I bake my own bread.

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"Marriage is a compromise. I'm sweet rye and your father is sourdough, but we make it work."

Early Morning Roll Call.

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

Come dine with me!

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

French bread

"I bought this 'automatic bread maker', and so far it hasn't made any!"

"Do you have any marriage bread?"

'Admit it, dear, you've been keeping sliced bread a secret all these years in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

Toast kidnapper.

"I've invented sliced bread, the invention that will set th standard for all future inventions."