Bread Connoisseurs Gifts

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

Doughboy Dad

'The body is made up of millions and millions of crumbs.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

"Now how did she know?"

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"Marriage is a compromise. I'm sweet rye and your father is sourdough, but we make it work."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

A Bun in the Oven.

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

Early Morning Roll Call.

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

'Admit it, dear, you've been keeping sliced bread a secret all these years in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

'I don't care what the timer says - my nose says they're done.'

Baker Makes Sexy Dough

Baker

"Do you have any marriage bread?"

Come dine with me!

French bread