Boxing Umpire Gifts

'I want a clear, fair fight - ah, what am I saying? - just beat the heck out of each other.'

A young Don King

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"All right! Have it your own way. It was a ball."

Trainer: I'll warn you now Johnny, don't underestimate this guy. If he gets you into a corner, he'll clean you up.

Cricket widow's revenge 2

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

The Boxing Glove Diet was working for Bertram.

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'How's that, Umpire?'

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

Baseball.

You promised you wouldn't bring work home with you!

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

'Balk!'

The public was right

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

Some Cricket Novelties.