Boxing Umpire Gifts

'I want a clear, fair fight - ah, what am I saying? - just beat the heck out of each other.'

A young Don King

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

"All right! Have it your own way. It was a ball."

Trainer: I'll warn you now Johnny, don't underestimate this guy. If he gets you into a corner, he'll clean you up.

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

The Boxing Glove Diet was working for Bertram.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Cricket widow's revenge 2

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

Baseball.

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'How's that, Umpire?'

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

You promised you wouldn't bring work home with you!

'Steeee-rike three!'

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

Some Cricket Novelties.

Referee cop.

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'