Boxing Official Gifts

'You sure this is allowed?.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

A young Don King

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Let's consider an early dive."

Nun Fight.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Muhammad Ali publishes a popup book.

"I told you not to invite that guy!"

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"So, what are you reading?"

Egyptian Football

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Trainer: I'll warn you now Johnny, don't underestimate this guy. If he gets you into a corner, he'll clean you up.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Early Exercise Machines

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

The Boxing Glove Diet was working for Bertram.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Pole Vault Rules

Mayo-A-Mayo

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'