Botanical Engineer Gifts

Why is he always fooling around with plants? He wants to be a robotanist! (Published originally on August 26, 2015.)

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Robotic Man

"You're such a good listener."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

A day at the transgenic races

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

Plant Reference Library - Flowers/Trees.

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

Gene Therapy

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Bio Lab. You spliced phoenix DNA into a lemming? What are you trying to make? A perpetual motion machine!

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

Clone Factory

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

Alien crapload

Bio Fuels.

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

'Well, look who has stock in Genomes-R-Us.'

Is this what they call inherent safety?